Conversation of two children. The first says: - Mom to Dad today cursed ... - What? - And from a business trip he had not brought daily ... - It's that ... We have a mother from a business trip monthly not brought. business jokes ... joke a day : - So what is happening to you, Private Bridges? - I have a vision, sir. - What kind of vision? - When last Sunday I was in town, I saw every corner of the military police. I was very nervous. - I want to give you advice, private. The next time will be absent from the location of parts, sure to have a leave pass a note. computer joke ... joke a day : At the Jewish cemetery burying his mother young son, lamenting: - And ask, my son, Lord, that Sarochka married. And ask him to his uncle, Chaim recovered. And that Nathan did not have a soldier ... Finally, standing beside the grave-digger does not hold: - Listen, my dear, if you have so many cases to the Lord God, had to go the most, but not send nesmyshlenogo boy. fart joke ... joke a day : Smith was ordered to clean the ordinary bucket of potatoes. - In our space age in the army must already be a machine for peeling potatoes, - muttered Smith. - Of course, you imagine its latest model, - said the sergeant. funny one line jokes ... - Waiter, I fly in my soup! The waiter takes the plate brings a new, and there are swimming for seven flies. - Well, it better? funny one liners jokes ... Journalist talks with Henry Kissinger. - Tell me, Mr. Kissinger, you are considered the inventor of the "shuttle diplomacy". Explain what it is, as an example? - Oh, it's very simple - responsible .- Kissinger say, I come to the Rockefeller and said: "Listen, Rockefeller, you want to have his son-in steep Siberian peasant?" - Poof - said Rockefeller .- What are you? - And if it will still be a client of a Swiss bank? - Oh, that's another matter! Then quite simply. I come to the bank, asking: "You want to have his client steep Siberian peasant?" - Fu-y, - is spoken in the bank. - And if it will still be in-law, Rockefeller? - Oh, another thing! Then - just a trifle. I got to the steep Siberian peasant and asked him: "Do you want to marry an ordinary American woman?" - Grrr! - Says the man. - And with a son-in Rockefeller? - Oh! Another thing! Now - is sheer nonsense. I come to Rockefeller's daughter, asked: - You want to have a husband, the Swiss bank? - Fu-y, - she said. - And if this is a cool Siberian peasant? - Oh-oh-oh-oh! stupid joke ... One man was sent home with written notice of the results of medical examinations which he passed a few days ago at the recruiting office. "Unfortunately, the need to tell you - it says - that the results of tests you are suffering from tuberculosis, venereal diseases and have a weak heart." An hour later I received another notice: "An error occurred. You got the results of another conscript. The man wrote a written response to this effect: "Sorry, but your correction came too late. I committed suicide 40 minutes ago." On the beach near Arcas it under a big umbrella, sitting two friends and lead the conversation: - I have a friend Englishman - says one of them, which makes miracles: dive into the Thames, and remained under water for about ten minutes. But, they say, lives in Marseille, the guy who remains under water almost half a day! - Right, I know him, picks up a friend. - Besides, I had a colleague who dived into the sea near Nice, four and a half years ago, to break all records by staying under water. I then took a stopwatch and began counting: minute, ten minutes, an hour, two hours ... - Stop, stop! In the end, how much time he spent in the water? - If I knew it! He is still a port there is not popped! next 66 67 68 69 70